Things That Go Bump In The Night.

[This is a true story]

We have already talked about the unifying princibles, you know the things that link all cultures. Math and the Boogey man always come to mind. All children every where are scared of something in the night, some awful predator, monster thingy.

Before I really got into horror movies I was absolutely convinced that there was something out there at night. I suppose the young Marine across the way didn't help these thoughts, I'm sure he meant well. It just so happened that we were talking about nightmares and he told me of one where he would dream of a big scary monster hand would reach up from under the bed and pull him under. I gotta admit that the thought of that is absolutely terrorfying to such a wee grommit like myself.

I don't think  having a pretty logical mind helped either. Ok before you start questioning my logic claim, listen to this. Its not like its a good logic, its actually way,waaaay too much. Like I didn't weigh the probability of existance but rather the possiblity of completion. To dumb it down I didn't use my logic to determine if it was possible for these creatures to exist but rather just how possible it was for them to accomplish their dasturdly deeds.

Ok here's an example of my thought process. Once we went to Seaworld and my Dad wanted to go to the shark tunnel. At that time I was aware of the movie "Jaws" and the people eating (specifically the ease of eating little people such as me) capabilities of sharks. I refused to enter the tunnel. Dad got mad and asked why, to which I responded…

"The sharks will eat me!"

Dad then told me that sharks like all fish cannot survive out of water. I knew through personal expirience and through documentaries that fish can live out of water for a short time before dying, more specifically, they will live long enough to bite me in half. I knew that the shark could break the glass, swim in the water on the floor to me bite me in half, then die. I'm sorry but a lose-lose is still a loss. Long story short, cutting my losses I refused to budge, dad got pissed, I got yelled at but I remaind solidly in one piece ,un-bitten by a shark, that is a "win".

Well back to the story at hand.

Dad had declared quiet time after dinner and this reqired that we go to our rooms to quietly play or whatever. That night I chose to use the time to determine just how possible a monster attack was and how the attack would be carried out.

I'm ashamed to admit that I found myself very vunerable thus highly suspectable to a monster attack.

I had two major vunerabilities on my bed.

1. The free side of the bed.
Wide open, I used that side myself to get on and off the bed. Can't be avoided. The monster could attack from the free route and escape easily. The monster would have his choice of pulling me under the bed or dragging me to the closet.

2. The wall side of the bed.
Even though the bed was against the wall. I knew I would reach down to the floor that was and that if I could do it, the mauraders of the night definitely could. This was the secondary direction of attack that it could be carried out. The creature could only pull me under the bed from here.

I didn't really worry about the foot of the bed because the was a trunk there and I was, well really short. A lot of reach was needed compared to the sides of the bed.

Well after a little thought I finally found what I needed in Buggs Bunny cartoons.

What I needed to survive the night were decoys.

I had two fairly large stuffed animals in my childhood. One was a bear and the other was a stuffed killer whale. Both were large enough to possibly fool a monster that only had seconds to carry out its attack. Plus if one was taken I 'd have proof of these child-snatchers. Then my Father and his Marines would go to fight the monsters ending the reign of terror of the night. The Marines would fight for the children.

I slept with the bear covering the wall side and the killer whale on the floor side. Those two sentries guarded me infailibly, ready to give their lives so that the Marines would end the terror. We slept that way for a while, I'm not really sure how long till the worst happened.

I woke one Saturday morning to bright sunlight. I had slept soundly with my guardians. I did my daily check or roll call. I looked to my left and there as always was the bear. I turned and looked to my right and the killer whale was gone…

In panic I checked the bed, looking all over for her. Then my mind started racing, with the fact that I had been attacked the previous night.

The poor whale!! She was a killer whale selected because of that to perform this duty and she's gone!

I finally worked up the courage to creep up to the edge of the bed to see if there was anything left before screaming for my Father to rescue me and go to war.

I had closed my eyes when I got to the edge. I peered over the edge and opened my eyes…

There she was, unharmed lying on the floor. I guessed that I must knocked her off the bed. I reached down and scooped her up and returned her to her place of duty…

I'm not really sure how many years I slept with those two by my side. I wonder if they had ever fought any battles to protect me in the night. Both of those heros I gave to my kid sister and I believe she still has them.

I laugh about all this not because it seems childish but because once I went in to tuck my son in for the night and I noticed he placed stuffed animals on the floor side as well as the wall side. I never asked him why he did that.

I wonder if the monsters die when you no longer believe in them? Does that mean my defenders died with the monsters?

I do know that my son sleeps soundly at night with his sentries standing guard as I did as a child…

-B